Mending a Broken Heart: 7 Real Ways to Heal Emotionally After a Breakup

Bonnie Strati
Jul 3
5 min read

“Grief is just love with nowhere to go.” — Jamie Anderson

There’s no sugarcoating it: heartbreak hurts. Whether it came from a sudden ending, a slow emotional fade, or something you knew wasn’t right but hoped would turn into more—losing love can leave you hollow, untethered, and overwhelmed.

If you're here, chances are you’re searching for answers. Maybe you’re smiling through meetings but falling apart in the quiet moments. Maybe you’ve typed “how to get over someone you loved deeply” into Google with tears in your eyes. I see you. I’ve been there. And I want you to know this: healing is possible.

This isn’t a list of quick fixes or hollow affirmations. These are real, compassionate steps to help you begin again—emotionally, physically, and soulfully.

🌿 1. Let Yourself Feel What You Feel

The first step toward healing is honesty—not about what happened in the relationship, but about how you’re feeling right now. Many of us are taught to push past the pain, “stay strong,” or pretend we’re fine. But healing doesn't happen in denial—it begins in presence.

When you allow yourself to grieve, you validate your own experience. You say to yourself, "My pain is real, and I’m worthy of tending to it."

🧘‍♀️ Try this: Create a 10-minute daily ritual just for emotional check-in. Light a candle. Sit in silence. Journal whatever rises without judgment. Ask yourself: 👉 “What do I need today?” 👉 “What am I holding that wants to be released?”

Let your heart know it’s safe to speak.

🌀 2. Break the Loop of “What Ifs”

The mind loves to replay: what was said, what wasn’t, what you should have seen. It’s a form of self-protection—your brain thinks if it can figure it out, it can fix the pain. But the truth is: rumination isn’t reflection. It’s self-punishment dressed up as insight.

It drains your energy and keeps you emotionally tied to something that’s already over.

💡 Practice: When you notice you’re looping, pause. Place your hand over your heart and gently say: "I don’t need to solve the past. I’m here now." Then ground yourself in the present: – Step outside for fresh air – Play music that shifts your mood – Call a friend and say, “Can you help me come back to now?”

This is mindfulness in real life—and it’s powerful.

💌 3. Write a Letter You’ll Never Send

Some heartbreaks never get the closure we crave. Words left unsaid. Questions unanswered. Apologies that never come. But healing doesn't have to wait on someone else's willingness—it can begin when you give yourself the space to speak what’s on your heart.

Writing is a sacred release. It helps untangle the thoughts and emotions trapped inside.

✍️ Prompt: Write a letter to the one who hurt you. Let it all out—the grief, the truth, the goodbye. Say what you needed them to know. And when you’re done, close with: “And now, I choose myself.” FYI - I have written hundreds of letters that I have never sent or chose to burn to find closure!

You don’t have to send it. You just have to set yourself free.

🍲 4. Take Care of Your Body (Even When It’s Hard)

Heartbreak doesn’t just live in your mind—it lives in your body. Fatigue, tight muscles, appetite changes, brain fog—these are all part of the grief process. Emotional pain triggers your nervous system, and your body responds as if it’s under threat.

That’s why nurturing your physical self is an act of emotional healing. Every cup of tea, every nourishing meal, every gentle stretch says: I matter. I’m still here.

✨ Suggestions: – Sip herbal teas like chamomile or lemon balm – Eat grounding foods (soups, root veggies, warm grains) – Stretch every morning, even for 5 minutes – Prioritize rest: your heart and body need recovery

Movement can be slow. Self-care doesn’t need to be perfect—it just needs to be consistent.

🧡 5. Surround Yourself with Safe People

Not everyone deserves a front-row seat to your healing. Be discerning. Some people may want to “fix” you, others may judge you for still feeling pain. That’s not your space. Seek out those who can sit in silence with you, hold your truth without discomfort, and remind you of your worth when you forget.

Healing requires safety. And safety often begins with the company you keep.

❤️ Try this: Reach out to someone you trust and say: "I don’t need advice. I just need someone to hold space for me right now." You may be surprised how much love shows up when you ask for presence instead of solutions.

🌼 6. Create a “Come Back to Me” List

When you’ve been wrapped up in a relationship, it's easy to forget who you are outside of it. One of the most empowering things you can do is make a list of what reconnects you to you—your joy, your calm, your creativity.
This isn’t a “get over it” list. It’s a come home to yourself list.
📝 Ideas to add to your list: – Listening to soulful or nostalgic music – Walking barefoot in the grass – Reading poetry or spiritual reflections – Creating something with your hands – Making a comfort meal – Doing movement that feels like care, not punishment
Keep the list where you can see it. Let it be a compass when grief clouds your direction.

🪞 7. Speak Kindly to Yourself

The voice inside your head may be harsh right now. “You should’ve seen it coming.” “Why weren’t you enough?” “They moved on so easily—what’s wrong with me?”

But healing isn’t just about processing pain—it’s about learning to speak to yourself with love again. It’s about reminding your tender heart that you were always worthy… even if they couldn’t see it.

🗣️ Affirmation to try daily: “I am allowed to hurt. I’m also allowed to heal. This pain does not define me—it’s helping me return to love.”

Write it on your mirror. Say it out loud. Whisper it on hard days. It’s medicine.

🌅 Final Thoughts: Give Yourself Time and Grace

There’s no timeline for healing. Some days you’ll feel strong. Other days, you may feel like you’re starting all over. That’s okay. That’s real.

You don’t have to go back to who you were before the heartbreak. In fact, that version of you is evolving—into someone softer, wiser, and more self-aware.

Healing often happens quietly. In this way the sunlight feels warmer again. In the first laugh that doesn’t feel forced. In the thought that maybe—just maybe—you’ll be okay after all.

You’re not broken. You’re becoming.

💌 Need Support on Your Healing Journey?

I work with women who are navigating heartbreak, loss, and emotional transitions—offering gentle guidance through intuitive coaching, somatic practices, and deep soul work.

If you’re ready to feel whole again (even if you're not sure how yet), I’d be honored to walk with you.

📥 Contact me at bonnie@bonniestrati.com or explore Be Soulful Coaching to begin your healing journey.

Let’s rebuild—stronger, softer, together.